it's like everyday's a whole new day to kill and regret

i forget.

i have quit. (you)

i said i wouldn't 

i don't really want to explain anything really

you can write without knowing

i must write in full sentences. apparently. residency

i recognize music that i have heard before. 

I wonder what my profile is

so you want one or do you want to pay for something?

i want to tip you. so badly. free loathing

samples and promotions. and all that is owed to me

doing something everyday. all days must be the same

you lied in bed sick today.

i haven't seen you in so long that your hair got longer

i am good and then i expand from my safe free zone

but i must revert to being so good.

i am pulse

i am the armory show

i saw you set up.

(possibly unfinished)

there's a time when fiction and real life merge.  this is no time for lists of dreams but for concrete steps towards a career, so that i may dream later when all is finally over. i quit my writing class. i was tired of being told i was too melodramatic. see, even this is melodramatic about how i was too melodramatic. don't you just love repetition. i hope you google me. i like my codes and my rules just like i like you. and, i like sentence fragments. point form. i am always going somewhere. i go outside every single day. just like you. 

love will prevail.

nothing

nothing

nothing

nothing

nothing

nothing

nothing

nothing

nothing 

nothing

nothing

nothing

SNEAKY

look the part.

I AM NOT AFRAID OF WORK, KEVIN

because i want to be your friend

please smile more and more and more

forever keep my gaze

someone told me you weren't always this way

i know what the meaning of change is

don't stop talking, say more and more

keep the words rolling over the last ones (waves)

because i never say no

because maybe i was the one being mean

look at me hitting this beehive open 

(i can do anything)

the proof is all out to print

OUT TO PRINT rejected me in 1999

CROSSING NAMES IN THE DARK

TRUST ME TRUST ME TRUST ME

i forgot my lines

dramatic sigh of relief

don't talk to me while i'm holding a glass

cross out items on a grocery list

when standing on tipsy tippy toes

be good and carry me home

the bride's bachelors and the bachelor's bride

unmentionable, untouchable, unreachable

people always stare

but i only say yes to the photographer

if only i could load bullets

it takes seconds to shoot

dress to kill in a new york minute

and when the chic turns into vulgar

lace and gold fur (embroidery)

i've got a new hand of five

just press record

(unfinished when the packaging is all over the place)

DECLINING JOBS WRITING HEADLINES

tell me the things that really matter

measurements, the time and what happens to be free

hipsters are everywhere, let's all wear sweat shirts

a long time ago doug shopped in a thrift store

standing on a balcony overlooking a busy street

she bought herself  memories of scotland while he stood on one foot

think about me and i'll think about him while he watches her

please refrain from forgiving. never give in. always say no (wink)

honey's good for your hands but this bee's out of control

i want i want i want i want with no return

but i never make a move i anticipate

which character are you today?

(and you hurt my feelings by not being sincere)

i am not an opportunity for you to practice your lines

keep building mountains 

but remember that  i will always be the king of the castle

i get to the top and i might not let you stand on this ice

(did i mention you could slip and fall?)

sarcasm and pretending to care

greetings are not a game, you can't write a play about saying hello

we both lack basic skills

can you hold my gaze for more than a minute?

BEEHIVE EVACUATION

with no intention to be mean (to you)

i always follow the editor's pick

and of course i was ad-libbing

on a chair, on a milk crate, on a stool

then we all stood and left (applause)

another weekend another leg

(check your mail) make appointments and forget

waiting for confrontation

everything always become history too too late

andy and i die and the price sky rockets

THIS (you) IS (are) MY NEW HOUSEHOLD NAME

and of course i forget my lines

waiting for the bus like regular people

why did i prefer the predator over the prey? (in my dreams)

and the moment you cease to greet me

i am forever yours

lending books and blushing

i read to the birds apparently

and make up my own rules

robyn sings about peaches

family always end up visiting

i never remember my lines

like the actor i served who only ordered drinks

drink up and pretend (talk to yourself out loud)

wanna cross some words with me?

you wouldn't know what to do anyway

white always dirties so easily and so quickly

point break. let's unweed this plot

everything's a goddamn play with you

step out and match my eyes

i'm wearing white tomorrow

SCAN ME

there are too many days into one
my hour is longer
i am a book a week
run home. see me run home

warhol is a commodity

let me consume you

even jewellery needs some cleaning

(sewing and lace) soaking fabrics

he wrote articles about boredom

i quote my own lines. repeat

i quote my own lines

(i will be good)

(i will go home)

cause i got american coins

and you kept your canadian bills

a cup is smaller than you think

kids never worry about their audience

THE DIALOG OF THE DEAF SETTLES IN

on my days off i go out breaking codes

women making movies and the riddles of the sphinx

no one is asking you to be clever

forest fires and bachelor parties

the little boy's name was jealous

we finally went up to the top floor

terraces or parks and pools

you both lost me as i wandered around

but who was our mentor?

boreas carries off orithyia

if you come over she will give you horses

flying with the aid of these chilly winds (frozen airs)

high above where they say unicorns don't exist

galloping in a fury on the strands of colors of an overarching rainbow

and because it hardly rains

and because i am possibly dreaming

nothing will happen

it is not i who is pregnant awaiting the birth of a stone

it is not i who will walk it, carry it or feed it

(polishing it) cut it and sell it. so you too can get engaged

an authentic print against the colors of the seasonal bluff

i was out standing in the woods

in fact battle is always unpredictable. turning tables

impending rain and walking on pavement

dirt roads and the trees i don't remember growing

i live in front of a theater which i never attend

8 to 8 to 8

nothing happened that wasn't supposed to happen

i am never desperate (like a boy)

there are no days fully devoted to vacations

it is never fully the weekend

because i can't turn myself off

never never never never never 

but let us move towards positive gestures

we greet. we are polite 

you can read apparently and i can hear soundtracks

falling to pieces after hearing the barbarians

pick me up and all the tiny figurines you carved

soften your features and please take a seat

imperatives (taking orders) giving/taking

the gap between what you do and what you mean

ride up the stairs watching me mouth the words of the latest bestseller

there is no answer

ART WORK

there is nothing else but work

wake up early and go to bed late

i never needed anything else

finger on my nose. liar

i do the opposite for attention

work never sleeps supposedly

did i tell you about the reception in my mind?

anonimosity and familiarity

contrasts and opposites

i prefer antonyms

nothing is new but we all agree on vintage

outta mind outta sight

empty your closet and check under the bed

philip glass, looking glass, broken glass

shatter me to pieces

(let it come) i'm supposed to find it now

pull back the shades and cover me over and over and over

relax your features, search my bag but keep walking

(you couldn't even yell halt)

i only see you everyday

everytime you turn away i reach for you

easily accustom yourself to saying my name

like frogs about to boil on the hot plate

did i tell you that the woman who makes chocolates also rides a bike?

who said that art was quite pointless?

or was the word useless?

there are many days into one

NO COMMENT

everything is eliminated

hair in my face (i cannot see your face)

how much can we really communicate?

ominous small talk

and speaking to sociopaths

with no greetings and no traces left behind

i've got no need to crush you

(you crush yourself)

manipulate his self-defenses

and have him sting too easily

joel is a bee

i am too close to the white wall

balletic (having a ball)

the art of walking

dead or alive

point your gun and associate

kids in the bar, go home

purse your lips

no no no no no no no

everything can wait

everything always leaves

you ask me to be real with you

for a moment at lunch break

take a break, take a walk, take a hike

i'm not scared of you when you talk with your eyes closed

tingling ting ting things about art

the critic is the enemy

i am the enemy

i want to find the limits

the artist has no limit

because nothing is completely useless

and the idea is to map every movement into a system

i want a map

i want some directions

but how do i get to seattle?

if i don't know it exists?

the moment where you are either in or out

or the loss of concentration

or the body's physical fatigue

when we reason we should stop

when we ask why and then we quit

moving ahead or moving faster

the acoustics of a room

art is images

philosophy is ideas

work is work

food and money is life

and the rest is pointless

i saw you catch your echo

and when the images ceased to follow

amusement parks

the original source of an image

when a photo clipping finds its counter part

(when when when when, it's all about time)

uncovering the whole truth

(attention to details)

but in the end i only really believe in the games we play when alone as a child

BAGATELLE

zeros and hundreds

as i sat in the park. a fly decides to rest on my leg. i feel its tiny legs on my legs. if i wave it away, it comes back more persistant. holding it longer. swatting. and winning me over. do i endure? lovers and legs. and this heat. this humidity. but i am always in the park. say no to the ones at night. say no to the ones kicking my seat. i walk and cross my legs. de-cross and follow the white line. sometimes my heel drops in the sidewalk cut. but i don't need to tell you any of this. 

who do you kiss at night?

i lit up fires. typically

fluffy hair and swollen lips 

my fingers are numb

another season over

don't you know we will always be children?

i am my mother's first child

(and you don't need any other siblings)

we clean what we can reach

forever sitting in high seats

dangling legs. dangling lives. dangling lines

i sit across from where you usually sit

making faces in the mirror

deflecting the situation

i am hostess-ing this plane

it's never dark enough and never bright in here

i said bagatelle!

one cannot die in the middle of act five

your self-indulgence is playing with shadows

(and i forget) supposedly.

GO HOME/ BE GOOD

no need for exclamation marks

i spoke and i got credit

just say the word (brackets)

this is gold. stolen goods

and not. or to. do do so 

you are here. and i am late. i am there. over here

tattoos. shoes and unlit firecrackers

set yourself on fire

HALT. theory is here. theory is in order

being nice

excerpts and borrowing

check my history

debate the meaning of art with a bird

fly away with robyn

but i get confused between staying and leaving

  between making and keeping plans

i know how to take but not how to hold

i can't even tell when you are awake anymore

be careful cause it's the handwriting that makes the writing good

the absolute, totality and endings

wants, needs and imperatives

ideals and anticipation

being modern and being post

truth, lying and interpretations

i never said anything about clarity or organization

deux jours a tuer  (two days to kill)

after the war. it's the weekend

i'm at the half point